I am wondering about something. Usually I know who to date and when. I mean it’s my job to know and to give advice. But this time I am a bit confused and unsure.
I met this guy on GayDating.com which was easy to do because it’s a great site. He contacted me and for a bit it sort of cooled, but then he got back to me, we talked and decided to meet. The guy was actually married, with 3 kids, and he had not come out yet but lived a second gay life. Because of the kind of job he had, he could be out living his real life for a few hours at a time. And he did. He used the website of course to find people and he frequented the usual spots to meet guys or meet up with whoever was his latest desire. The guy looked great on his profile and he said all the right things about what I wanted. And to him, I did the same.
So we met at a club, had a blast and we did take it to the next level if you get my gist. And we have had a couple more dates. Now for me, I am really just looking to have fun. And I don’t judge anyway. Married, single, people should be happy and live their lives. Perhaps others will be quick to object to my friend’s decisions, or at least feel he should be open and still play while married. I personally think it’s time for all the judging to stop. For gay or straight or whatever. Being judgmental is so old.
Now the guy wants to be with me, at least to try and see how it goes. Maybe it will be a long-term thing, maybe not. And he says he is willing to settle down with the right gender finally. But my dilemma is this. Aside from the fact that I don’t know if that is for me at this time, even if I decide to go along, I don’t want that pressure on me. If I am the reason he finally comes out and it doesn’t work or worse, it causes all kinds of problems, well, I don’t need that kind of guilt. I truly do believe people need to be honest with themselves and others, but I also believe in a strong family unit and his kids are young. So the whole thing has me wondering. I think it’s good he will finally be real, but I don’t need the headache and worry if it gets messed up. What would you do?