~ It started with TV

I love TV.  I am not ashamed to say it.  I have a lot of friends who don’t watch much TV and I know of others who also don’t watch much.  It seems fashionable today for people to do something, anything, other than sitting in front of the tube and plugging in.  That’s the term my mom used when I got home from school and dumped my backpack on the dining room table and plopped down on the sofa and turned on the set.  “Hey you.  Homework first, then dinner, and if you finish both, then you can plug yourself in.”  Always loved TV.  And don’t think because I am gay that I like fashion shows or soap operas.  I will admit to watching a couple soaps in college, but now no.  I like sports and not just ice skating.  And I like dramas and comedies, the whole shebang.  (Do people still use that word, “shebang?”)

So why talk about TV?  You know those late night, 3 AM dating commercials?  I was up one night and I saw one of those and then got on the net and looked at its online site.  It wasn’t for gay people but it got me remembering.  Years back they had 900 number dating, then TV dating shows.  Shows.  Like these half-hour things.  I was invested in one of those once.  Didn’t make any money, lol.  But because I was involved with the investing in the show – not a lot, don’t think I am some big shot entertainment mogul, and because I loved TV, I was put in charge of the beta testing.  That meant seeing and using the database.  And because it was in my hands, I could have others mess with it.

So I asked a buddy to go in and check it out.  There were lots of things we needed to check, and not just the technical.  I mean yes, the technical was important, everything had to work seamlessly, but also whether the people joining were real, were happy, were using things ok, and were sticking around.  It cost people money, you know, that per minute charge, so we needed to be sure we could get and keep customers.

There was a gay and lesbian section within the database and we had that set up so that callers could access and use it.  It was not just for being fair, but also for making us money of course.  My buddy who was gay, told me after his first day messing with the system that he had made 2 dates!  Damn!  So the people were real.  The first several hundred were seeded in from other databases but we wanted to be completely independent if the thing worked and were excited it did.  This was the precursor to online dating sites, straight, gay, niche, whatever.  So next time you look at your phone, say thanks.  🙂

You can stil use a phone database if you want to, but it is so much easier to just use a dating website and we have some pretty good ones that we have reviewed and recommended.  Take a look at GayMen.com.  It is a pretty darn good site.  Get in there and find your guy.

~ Super Bowl super night

So for the Super Bowl, I went to one of my favorite watering holes, no pun intended, to watch the game and drown my sorrows after it was over, or celebrate.  I am typing this from the club outside in the garden area where there is light and less noise, and I must admit it is a sorrowful evening.  For me.  At least the weather is nice.  A bit cool now but not what you people in the Midwest and the Northeast are going through.  My favorite team, the Seattle Seahawks, went down to the hated New England Patriots.  Sigh.  And in the worst way possible.  Sigh again.

As I write this I am looking around.  Most of the sad people have left, some stayed.  Most of the happy people are here and well, happy.   Friggin’ loud too.  Jeez.  There will be some action at home tonight for those whose team won or who won their wagers celebrate with the intertwining of their bodies.  Even the despondent ones will perhaps, if they have a significant other, also do that which we do when we want to do what we do, lol.  Sorry. I am a bit buzzed here.  Another reason I am still here.  Don’t want to drive home in this condition.  I will be ok in an hour, don’t worry.

So as I look around I see who is with who.  I am by myself tonight, my bf out of town.  I know a bunch of the guys here, and for the most part they are great guys.  And I know some of the men here found their bfs or dates from online venues, many from the sites we have reviewed.  Others from other places like supermarkets, etc.  Nero is the loudest guy here.  He is inside at the bar and I can hear him laughing.  So loud and happy.  And get this, he is a Seahawks fan and he is still so boisterous.  Imagine had they won!  Wow!  Two guys are grinding away to the music out here in the garden area even though the music is inside.  That’s fine.  They are fun to watch.  I almost feel like breaking in or dancing with them.  But nah, I don’t want to crash their private party.

We had a lot of women here tonight and I don’t mean gay women or even bi women.  Straight women.  I like that.  I like that they feel comfortable coming here as they always do, even when it’s not a special occasion, and they add to the atmosphere.  We are all people you know.  And the more the merrier, in quantity and gender, lol.  I have to admit I have heard grumbling at times, not from many, when it is crowded or there is a long line, that this is a gay club.  For men.  But I think most, I know most, don’t agree with that.

All in all, I am happy that people are out and about and with their partners and why not?  The world is a rough place and we need to find our loves, short term or long term.  You can find some love here  – GayCupid.com.  Or check out some other sites we review at GayBoyz.com.

~ Fishing and coming out

As I was going to write this latest blog column, I got a call from a friend who reminded me about a ‘coming out of the closet’ fishing trip I went on a few years ago.  I am not talking about my coming out, I am talking about a buddy of mine and others.  And no, it wasn’t a planned coming out party, lol.  But it turned out that way.

Here is what happened.  It was a week before Labor Day weekend and me and two other guys, Rodney and Jack all of us openly gay, decided to go fishing.  A last hurrah of the summer.  I am not some big fisher guy, or fisherman, or whatever you want to call it, can you tell, lol?  But I wanted out of town and into the woods to relax by a gorgeous lake in the mountains.  If sitting around on the shore or on a boat fishing was the price to pay, then so be it.  My two buddies like fishing, in fact Rodney had a boat.  A really nice one.  I don’t know the brand name, but he named it Rod and Seamen, lol.  And each time we were on that boat we all got wasted.  I had been on it a few times water skiing.  Not much of a water skier, or even a snow skier, and trying to do it drunk is not recommended, but that’s another story.

So these two guys that Rodney knew from his job, a William and Greg, said they wanted to come along.  Rodney was like cool.  We had rented a cabin for the long weekend and the more, the merrier.  We go to the lake in two cars, me, Rodney and Jack in Rodney’s SUV with the boat attached, and William and Greg in another.  As far as I knew they weren’t gay, and I didn’t care one way or the other.  Rodney said he thought they were but they never said anything.  When we arrived, we went shopping for stuff and I took a good look at the two guests.  I had my suspicions and mentioned it to Rodney and Jack.  Jack agreed with me.  “Should be an interesting weekend,” he said with a grin.

Because we got there in the afternoon, we decided just to chill at the shore and not go out with the boat till the next day.  Of course the beer flowed, mostly down our throats, a little down our chins and on our chests the more we knocked them down.  Then a weird thing happened.  Without saying anything, William and Greg went into the cabin.  They didn’t come out for a while.  We knew they were drunk, and we weren’t sure if they went in to throw up or lay down or what.  After about 20 minutes, they come outside and they announce together, “We’re gay!  Like you!”  All was quiet for a moment and then we all burst out laughing.  They also said they were in the cabin proving it, lol.

Then this happened.  Each guy called his parents to tell them they were gay!  They had kept it a secret, at least to their families.  Maybe to others, I didn’t know.  Before they made the calls, I told them they might want to sober up first and then rethink this strategy.  I am all for the honesty, but lucid, un-intoxicated honesty.  Nope, they wanted to tell, saying they wouldn’t have the guts otherwise.  So they did.  Rodney later told me Greg’s parents were cool with the whole thing and they suspected it anyway, but William’s parents are very un-thrilled to say the least.  Oh well.  I do wish it all works out OK.

I hope you enjoyed this tale.  If you want your own um, gay tail, so to speak, please check out GayDating.com and GayBearDating.com.  Then go fishing.  🙂

~ Boy, was he lucky

I heard this story this morning in the break room as I got into work and went to get some coffee.  One of my co-workers, I will call him John, was telling about an encounter he had on the way to work.  John told the few of us there that it was fairly early when he was got on his way to the office, and that his area had no traffic at that time.  He was at a stop light and while waiting there, a car pulled up next to his.  It was still dark but he was able to make out some guy in the car trying to talk to him.  So he put down my window and because of some wind, he couldn’t hear him.  Then the other guy started yelling, “I need help!”  Until he did that, John was just going to move on once the light changed.  But hey, he’s a nice guy, maybe a bit naïve sometimes, and he said he thought there really was something wrong.  So he motioned to the other driver and told him to park after the light changed to green.

Wow, I don’t know that I would have done that.  The world has gone mad, and that was pretty crazy and dangerous.  Let the guy call the police or something.  He was able to drive, why not drive somewhere, or if his phone was dead, go to a gas station or something.  But nope, John didn’t just drive on.  John pulled over behind the guy on some very dark street with no one around, to talk to some stranger who could have pulled out a gun or knife or whatever and killed him.

So what did the guy want?  Directions!  That’s right, the guy just wanted directions.  Well, after John gave the guy, his name now told, Trevor, they started talking some niceties.  So what do you do?  What do you do?  Blah, blah.  John says in the middle of the chat as they leaned against his car, he could sense he was gay like John, gaydar and all.  So John tells him about his being a programmer for a site that is involved with internet dating, and the guy said he recently joined one site, GayCupid.com.  Seems like Trevor had his gaydar antenna up and was bringing in signals too.  So John tells him that was one of the sites we checked out and reviewed.

Well, well.  What do you think happened?  They gave each other their numbers and John is so happy he stopped to talk with the guy.  Everyone else is happy for him too, but we also think he’s nuts and damn lucky.  Who knows what could have happened?

Oh and as I was at this point in this story, John came into my office to show me a picture from a text he received from Trevor.  Looks like John and Trevor have been bad boys.  John will be seeing Trevor as soon as he gets off, um bad choice of words, as soon as he leaves work.  They will be meeting at a club and then who knows.  I think I know.  John, John, what a lucky guy.  His new friend looks so cute!

Want your own Trevor?  Go to GayCupid.com or any of the other gay dating sites on GayBoyz.com.  It’s easier and safer that what John did, don’t you think?

~ Two dates in one evening

Guest writer today.

Hello GayBoyz.com blog fans!  This is my story of a crazy night only a week back.  I needed to tell people about it and I did tell my friends and a few others, but I think having it have the opportunity to be seen by god knows how many people, maybe hundreds or many more (I would have said thousands but hell I don’t really know and don’t want to get too thrilled about it), would be pretty ****ing great.  I was told not to be too explicit.  Too bad for you!  And by the way, thank goodness for spell check, lol.  I see it is working!  Some misspelled words are even being fixed as I type them.  Cool.

OK, the date.  Or should I say dates.  For about 2 weeks , I had been talking to one guy on this one free dating site, OK, it’s GayMen.com, and I also started seeing another guy I met at at a supermarket.  We only had 1 date and although we had fun, we didn’t take it to the bedroom.  So anyway, I liked that guy and was hoping of course to get to the next level.  I love that phrase, get to the next level, lol.  I just want to say we didn’t ****, but I was told I shouldn’t do that.  Geez.  This guy I wanted to, you know, was friggin cute!  I can say that right?  Friggin?  I will call him Paul.  Paul was in great shape, like me, and he was funny.  That was the first thing that attracted me to him was that he was so funny.  Quick, and he made me laugh a lot.  And there were sparks.

The guy I met on the website was also great looking.  I will call him Jonah.  He was mixed race which was cool because it gave him this exotic look and I liked that.  And he was a good conversationalist.  I am 29 and he was 26, and he was in town from Michigan for a few days.  We hit it off right from the start once we went to the phone.  He liked lots of things I liked.  I also liked that he was into cars.  I am a big car guy.  Have been since I was a kid.  I love cars and all about them.

So I make a date with Jonah for last Saturday night.  We would get something to eat and then take it from there, a bar or whatever. I didn’t know if any fireworks would happen, at least not on that first date.  Our talks didn’t get to that point either.  Well, and you may be ahead of me here, as I continued to talk to that other Paul our chats got more heated, and I knew for sure that the next time we would meet, we would um, consummate the relationship.  I was all heated up and ready to go.  The problem was that Paul was going out of town Sunday morning and was busy except for Saturday night.  Hmmm, so what to do.  I already had a date with Jonah and didn’t want to mess that up.  And I didn’t want to tell either about the other. I didn’t know yet if they would be OK with anything open like that.

So I figured the best thing to do was get rid of Jonah.  When I called him to tell him with some excuse I had to break the date, before I could say it he told me he had gotten me this book I wanted that I couldn’t find on 60’s convertibles.  And he had bought it.  Oh boy.  So I had to meet him.  And I didn’t want to get rid of Paul because hell, I wanted to do it with him.  So I made a date with Jonah as early as I could and with Paul as late as I could.   I met Jonah at 6 PM, the earliest he could do and we had a nice dinner and chat and made plans to get together again when he came back to town.   And I needed to rush him away because my date with Paul was at 8:30 PM, I couldn’t get him to do it later.

I was able to finagle it but rushed from letting Jonah off at his place to the restaurant where Paul wanted to meet and eat.  I went like 90 MPH I think on the way there.  Then Paul wanted a nice big meal and I had to eat too.  He didn’t understand why I wasn’t hungry and almost forced me to eat, said I would need my strength, LOL.  So I ate again, and well, the rest I can’t say without a lot of *’s.  Let’s just say it worked out.  Thanks for reading this.

(Thanks for the contribution, dude.  Hey all, please go to GayBoyz.com to see reviews and choose a site to find someone.)

~ Gay marriage

If you are gay, or on top of the news, unless you have been under a rock since about a week ago, you will know that the US Supreme Court will this year be hearing arguments about the Sixth Circuit Court’s decision to uphold four state bans on gay marriage.  The sixth Circuit hears cases for Kentucky, Michigan, Ohio and Tennessee.  Other circuits had struck down gay marriage bans.  Petitioners in four consolidated cases either want to marry in the states governed by the sixth, or they want marriages that have been recognized in other circuit states validated in the sixth.  Justice Anthony Kennedy, as in the past, may again be the deciding vote on what might very well end up being a 5 – 4 decision, one he may very well write, a ruling to overturn the sixth’s decision.  The Defense of Marriage Act or DOMA, has been knocked down again and again and will eventually go away.  This case should put the final nail in the coffin of those trying to halt the inevitable, that gay marriage will be acceptable and accepted throughout the land.

It is interesting that although this is another fight for us, and I know there is great interest, that will only be magnified as it gets closer and closer to the case’s arguments and ruling, I find many that I know are not as fired up as before.  Now don’t get me wrong.  They care, and know what they want and they are happy we may be near the end of this kind of discrimination, but it just doesn’t seem as urgent.

I kind of knew why but I asked some friends, and others who I had never met before, if they were honestly super-interested, and if not, why not.  A total of 20 gay men.  This is not a scientific poll, but I believe if a professional pollster contacted several hundred gays and lesbians, the results would be pretty darn similar.  I know, I know, I only queried (careful, no pun intended) gay men and not lesbian women, but I still think my numbers make sense.

15 were interested but not super-interested.  So I asked the 15 why.  And it makes sense.   9 said, and a few were a bit embarrassed by it, that being things have progressed so well and that the battle for gay marriage was just about done so their worries were dissipating.  4 said they just didn’t have the time to think about it.  2 had more pressing issues happening.  So there you have it.  We have come a long way, almost over in some respects here in the good old USA.  Other countries?  Not so much.

Hey, if you are looking for someone for the short term or even to marry, please click here to see the sites we have reviewed.  Be happy everyone!

~ Over 30? Stay out!

A firestorm was created when a fairly famous online gay magazine writer said that guys 30 and up should stop hitting the bars and clubs and act their age.  He called it the Peter Pan syndrome.  Hmmm.  Lots of questions along with objections went around cyberspace.  First of all, who is he to decide when someone should quit the bar scene?  Second, why stop going at 29?  29?!?!  Sheesh.  And what about, “You are as young as you feel?”  Life is short, why make it shorter by limiting your pleasure and halting your fun?  And again, 29??  C’mon!

Needless to say, many were pissed.  Some argued that no straight person would say such a thing to straight people.  Well, I have heard it by straights for straights, so that’s not true.  But while some agreed, most were very vocal about their disagreement.  There are arguments for either side but if we all believe that people should be free to socialize as they see fit, then doesn’t that also mean if you are say, 35 or 45 or even 65, if you want to go out and to a club and drink and dance, then by all mean go and do it?  If someone that age doesn’t want to anymore, no one is forcing him to go.  And if someone in a bar at 23 doesn’t like looking at a 53 year old man enjoying himself then he shouldn’t look.  This is a free country.

I have asked a number of people here in the office what they think.  I am always interested in others’ opinions.  That helps me have a better understanding of whatever topic I find interesting.  I am not a know-it-all and I don’t pretend to know what anyone should do with their lives.  I truly believe people should pursue happiness as this country’s founding fathers brilliantly wrote in the Declaration of Independence.  I was a bit surprised by what I heard, but thinking about it, I am sure it had to with age.

Generally, the younger of the bunch thought that the older guys should stay home.  Having forgotten that it was the older guys who paved the way for the younger ingrates to go freely to bars without as much danger as there used to be, they just found it weird.  Maybe because there are always long lines to get in to good bars and they don’t want to wait?  The older people said the Peter Pan thing was crap.  That like me, anyone should do whatever they feel comfortable in doing.  What do you think?

Enjoy life!  Do what you can to make every free moment count.  This is a dating website blog, and I am glad to write about dating, give advice, talk about timely topics, and all the while promoting good, clean fun for the gay community.  I don’t care what age you are and you shouldn’t care either, whether you are 18 or 80.  Have fun and find a mate as well if you wish.  Please go here GayBoyz.com to do so.  Thanks for listening.

~ Gay men like football too

For any straight people reading this, with  the NFL playoffs going on, in fact as of the writing of this piece the 2015 Super Bowl has already been set, I thought I would speak about a misconception and false stereotype, that gay people are not into sports, either playing it or watching.  False.  There are many guys who are not gay who don’t care for sports in the least.  We already know that there are gay ball players, those who have come out, and those who are still in the shadows, but there, trust me.

For each playoff game I go to what basically becomes a sports bar in my gay community enclave.  And the atmosphere there is as rowdy as any sports bar.  If you didn’t know it was a gay bar you would think it was just another place where guys go, and many women as well, to watch ball games.  And as with any sports bar, people drink and cheer and boo and are happy and sad depending on what is happening with the team they like or do not.  People also hook up when they can and wish to.  Just like in any sports bar, especially when there has been a lot of drinking, lol.  Gay and straight do it at our bars.

I remember this one year, when it seemed that was all that was going on.  I won’t go into the game itself or who played but there were no local favorites playing and the game was pretty lousy.  The commercials weren’t all that great either.  So there was more emphasis on finding someone to play with then on looking at the play on the field.  And why not?  That is what goes on in life.  I myself found a great guy and we went back to my place, not even waiting for the postgame show.  We did our own recap.  And I talked to several of my buddies and they told me they had the same experience.  Also, a couple lady friends found a couple guys to play with and they did.  In fact, one married her post Super Bowl lover.

By the way, however you celebrate the game, before or even after, if you want your own hook up there are a few sites here that might tickle your fancy.  You can find your average hook up or even your soulmate if that is you inclination.  Here are two good places to go.  First, you can check out GayBearDating.com.  The site also has non-bear men in it, by the way, but yes its emphasis is on bears.  Another site is GayDating.com.  You can find anyone here of any gay lifestyle.  So there you go.  Aside from how we choose to be attracted to someone, something with which we were born, we are the same as everyone else.  So if you had any misconceptions, leave them at the door of the watering hole you will patronize for the big game.  Enjoy the Super Bowl!  And may you find a win in that bar in any way you can.  🙂

~ What’s app with that?

As apps become more prevalent, they have also become more of a pain.  That is sort of what happens with anything really.  When something works or becomes interesting or lucrative, with the good comes the bad.

For gay men, one of the bigger issues with the “swipe” him away mobile phone applications, is one of racism believe it or not.  There have been complaints that white gay men are avoiding black gay men.  And there are other race problems, with people complaining about comments and innuendos.  Look, this stuff happens everywhere including dating sites, so it would be unfair to say gay app dating sites are immune to bigotry.  But the online dating sites differ in that there is more profile preparation and many more ways to find a mate, so that things are not as quick, and as limited as the usual apps.

Apps have also been used for criminal activity.  Hard crime and soft crime.  I am talking even to commit murder.  I don’t want to get into it too much, but you can look it up.  It has happened only once that was made public but once is enough.  The bigger crime problem are escorts and prostitutes finding their way into the apps-ophere.  Some apps, gay included are seeing tons of hookers playing the real person only to try and take advantage of the unsuspecting user.  Again, this stuff can happen anywhere and on any dating site, but it is now a big part of app issues.

And speaking of hookers, much like how CraigsList has become a haven of fake ads, so that it seems most are garbage that go to bots that send out replies to inquiries, hoping some poor sap buys into some porn website, many apps have now seen a proliferation of “hooker bots” roaming around.  App programmers are now having a hard time trying to stay ahead of the nonsense.

I am not saying don’t use apps.  Use them, but be careful.  And it is also not good to put your eggs in one basket.   Know what you might get with the apps, some good and bad.  But also, use the old traditional dating sites to find your someone or “someones,” lol.  Want a fling only?  Go to GayBearDating.com.  And you don’t have to be a bear or want a bear to find anyone there. Trust me.  Want something long-term, join GayDating.com.  So mix it up and create your own portfolio of places to go to find your man.  You will be happier.

~ Golden Globes and Jorge

So I wanted to go out tonight.  I don’t generally have a late night drinking and carousing on a Sunday night ahead of a workday, but I stayed in Friday and Saturday nights so I was egging to do something.  It didn’t have to be a bar or club, could have been a movie – there is some good stuff out there now – or a nice dinner, even a not-so-nice dinner, lol.  I was going to go with my buddies Carl and Shelly and her friend Bette, but they wanted to watch the Golden Globes.  Sheesh.  Now I have nothing against TV awards shows, but I so wanted to spread my wings and fly a bit.  But no, I couldn’t.  At least with them.  They did invite me over and I almost went, but I decided to go with what I wanted to do which was hit the town by myself.  Sounds a bit sad, I know, but hey, why not?  I don’t think there is anything wrong with it.

Before heading out, it was still a bit early, I decided to see if I could find someone online at the dating site I use a lot, GayDating.com, to try and get a date, yes, even on such short notice, because I have made it happen before, more than once.  Because I speak Spanish I clicked over from the English-speaking to the Spanish-speaking site.  I live for thrills.  🙂  My profile gets many views and I get a good amount of interest and I saw that 2 guys were Latino.  So I contacted the one who sent me a note just a bit earlier in the day because he lived in the same community.  Jorge was online and he immediately get back to me.  He also said he was bored and had nada to do.

So Jorge met me on the corner near my place and we walked and talked for a while.  The night was cool but after a few minutes we didn’t even notice.  The conversation flowed nicely as we chatted about family and work and entertainment and TV and movies, you name it.  We walked and talked a long time.  We didn’t even care about going to a club to drink or dance or whatever.  We just had such a good time.  It was as if Jorge and I knew each other for years.  I was so glad I decided to go out and I am so glad I was able to use GayDating.com to find someone so fast.  Sometimes as all of you know I am sure, no plans turns into good plans, and when things seem to not go anywhere, they work out.  After like I think more than an hour, yes, longer than an hour, of walking a chatting, we figured let’s go to a club.  I went to Jorge’s choice, one I didn’t usually frequent because it was more a quiet place to be than a wild, loud place.  So we enter the club and we go to the bar to sit down and say let’s see what’s on the large monitor and watch a bit.  And after the commercial, what comes on?  The Golden Globes, lol!  So we watch a bit of it and I actually enjoyed it.  But I also have a new friend, Jorge.  Use the dating site.  It works!