~ “Bear” with me

I love bears, no not the run wild in the wilderness kind, although they can be pretty cool if they are not attacking you and chewing off your arm.  I mean the gay kind.  I love big hairy guys.  And they love me!!  I am just a regular looking guy, not a bear for sure, and I would hate to describe myself.  But damn, do bears make me crazy.

My first date with a large, hairy guy was when I was 22.  I went to this bar when I was visiting friends in LA.  We went to this place in West Hollywood, The Abbey, and there was this huge guy, I mean friggin huge at the bar.  He was dressed to kill and I thought he was the bouncer actually.  But nope, he was one of the regulars.  Don was his name. We got to chatting and he bought me a drink.  I had soda water, hey, don’t laugh.  I am an alcoholic and I have to be very careful.  But we continued chatting and ate some chicken wings and then went out to the terrace and sat down and continued talking.  It was just so crazy crowded and loud inside.

After a bit we went back inside and danced.  It was fun.  I sweated like a pig, lol.  My friends went off on their own and I went off with Don.  He lived nearby so we walked to his place.  He had his own apartment, a condo actually.  Don was in some kind of marketing, I forget, and he was doing very well.  We chatted again and one thing led to another and before I knew it we were showering and then well, you know.

Because I was in LA for 3 more days I met Don 2 more times.  He wined and dined me and we had a great time.  And oh, I want to mention, he was also into leather.  Now he didn’t wear any of that in the bar the night I met him, and he didn’t wear any the other times we met out somewhere.  But in his place, his comfort clothes were almost all leather, lol.  I had never seen that.  But I liked it.  And he let me whip him a bit too.  🙂  so there you go.  My first bear endeavor.  And I loved it!  Hey, for finding a great gay bear, go here: GayBearDating.com.

~ It doesn’t matter

I have been asked many times, and no I am not insulted, what’s it like being gay?  And what’s it like being gay and dating?  And my answer back always is, “What’s it like being straight?  And what’s it like being straight and dating?”  It’s all the same and today I am asked less and less, and acceptance is becoming more and more prevalent.  In most places.  But not in Russia or Iran or places like that.  But that’s another story.

I have to be honest.  When I was younger, I wouldn’t accept who I was, wouldn’t even allow the thought.  Only after high school when I started working and going to college did I finally just let it be.  My parents weren’t too happy when I told them, and surprisingly, my mom was tougher than my dad; I thought she would take it better.  Oh well.  She is still a bit “worried” she says.  Worried.  She can’t say she doesn’t like it, so she says that.  Dad is cool with it.  My older brother and younger sister never had an issue with it.  They are very accepting.

So what’s it like to be gay?  It’s nothing.  I am gay, so what?  Everything is the same except I am gay.  I do everything the same as a straight person, it’s just I choose to be with another guy and not a girl.  I have a bi friend who likes guys and girls and there is nothing wrong with that either.  In fact, there is nothing wrong with anything as long as you aren’t hurting anyone (unless you are into that, and that’s cool too).

So dating and being gay?  Again, no big deal.  In fact, I would venture to say it is easier than being hetero and dating.  So many complications and so much bs I hear about with straight dating.  Jeez.  Because this is not just a dating thing for us, it’s a lifestyle, for the most part, you can find people who are ready for whatever you want, without all the pre-date crap that goes on in the straight community.  Our clubs are more in tune I think for the simple hookup and whatever anyone wants.  We all identify with each other even if we are of different races, ages, etc.  we have this unique bond that is unlike straight people who, if different in any way, have to get past that.  Look, yes, we have our creeps and idiots.  But I do think gay dating is easier, even healthier than straight dating, if that makes sense.  So get out there and enjoy yourself.